I’ve had severe demand avoidance my whole life. If people interrupt me or keep trying to get my attention without considerable breaks, I get quite overwhelmed. I mean that I can easily go into a complete meltdown if someone continues to interrupt me after I’ve asked them to please stop, even if their interruption is seemingly helpful and selfless.

I seriously broke up with a girl that loved the hell out of me because she just couldn’t stop interrupting me when I was engaged in something. I completely blocked another friend I had for ~17 years after going on an international trip with him because after asking him repeatedly to please stop blurting out every single idea he has, to save them until I seem like I want to hear it. Nope, he just couldn’t do that. It is just completely unbearable for me, and after leaving the trip on my own earlier than planned, I blocked all opportunities for him to contact me. I would be happy to never hear from or of him ever again. That’s how much I cannot tolerate demands.

Aside from that, the best part of my day is when I go to bed to lie down for the night. It is my safe place where I know no one will interrupt me because everyone is asleep. This happens even if I live alone.

Unfortunately, the way this plays out is that I end up isolating myself and have pretty bad sleep issues since I basically stay in bed awake for hours at night. It’s like my body wakes up once I hit the bed, which is terrible for sleep hygiene. Last night, I went to best at midnight and didn’t fall asleep until 5am, so I’m exhausted-tired today.

I’m working with a therapist to develop a social circle that is healthier for me, so that’s on the horizon…hopefully. When I review my life, my favorite relationships are ones where I just co-exist with someone in the same space without much direct verbal interaction. I enjoy touch and sharing, but not if they talk a lot. And if they do talk a lot, I prefer if they keep the talking consolidated rather than spreading it out throughout the day. I can tolerate 2 hour conversations wayyy better than 6 hours of talking for 5 mins repeatedly.

Any other suggestions on how to manage this?

    • CaptObvious@literature.cafe
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      1 year ago

      No one is misreading your tone, sweetie.

      Take some of your own advice and learn to communicate. As you’ve insinuated, it isn’t likely that everyone else is out of line.