I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don’t hate me.

I’m just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people’s pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don’t before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I’ve never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I’d love some help with all of this.

  • AdaMAEnglish
    12•9 months ago

    Honestly, just try and avoid aggressively using gendered pronouns as the default. It’s not the end of the world if you do, but if you just stick with using they/them and names until you’ve had a chance to pick up on the social cues, you’ll be fine. And if it’s in a situation where no one knows anyone else, and where the social cues aren’t giving you the answer, then yeah, that’s the time to lead with your name and pronouns.

    But none of it’s a big issue. Trans folk feel it when you get it wrong. We notice, but we also understand that sometimes mistakes happen, especially in a society that has taught everyone to associate pronouns and assumed gender. What’s important isn’t that you get it right every time, what’s important is that you pay attention when you get it wrong, and do your best to get it right from then on.