I want to be respectful but if they say they don’t care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to “they” because choosing a gender for them feels weird… am I wrong?

  • @Catoblepas
    4•10 months ago

    The answer is going to vary from person to person and the easiest way to find out is to just ask. If you don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable asking, my two cents as a trans person is that I generally hold the same view as Leslie Feinberg:

    I care which pronoun is used, but people have been respectful to me with the wrong pronoun and disrespectful with the right one. It matters whether someone is using the pronoun as a bigot, or if they are trying to demonstrate respect.