23 year old AMAB. All my life, I’ve considered myself cisgender, but recently, I’ve begun questioning that. I’ll sometimes see posts like “if a potion/pill/button existed that could turn you into the opposite sex, would you use it?” and think to myself “Yeah, I’d be down to at least try that.” I know that doesn’t automatically make me trans, but it does make me question.
At the same time, however, I get a lot of euphoria from presenting as a man. When I start questioning my gender, I’ll look in the mirror, or at pictures of myself, and think “I look good with this masculine hairstyle”, “I like getting dressed up in a suit and tie”, or “I want to try growing a beard”. And the idea of being a father someday does bring me a lot of joy.
I’ve done a bit of research already, and based on my experience, I think I’ve narrowed my possible identities down to two options.
- Cisgender male who is just curious about the female experience
- Demiboy with a secondary identity of female
The thing is that I’m not sure where to go from here. This isn’t exactly a problem, since I feel no dysphoria when presenting as a male, so am comfortable living as cis in the meantime. But I would like to figure this out at some point, ideally sooner than later. Do any of you have any suggestions?
Side note: I’m currently living with my parents, and while they’re generally nice people, they hold some pretty transphobic views. I do expect to move out sooner than later, but anything that would require a totally safe physical space might have to wait.
Hey I’m a transfem and as I’ve dove more into practical styles? A LOT of the women’s looks I like are so masculine and so tomboy that these women are literally wearing men’s clothes. Lmao. It’s like horseshoe theory but for gender.
A genre of look that’s been liberating for me is “Visibly Queer” - this is someone who, well for one doesn’t avoid transphobia, but is wearing something prrtty atypical. Beard + skirt, or masculine look + makeup, manbun, feminine shoes. Hell even past mainstream looks for men, like skinny jeans + oversized tee. And I’ve started at what is obviously queer and kind of… shaved that down into something I would say “yeah a man would never wear this” … but they have, and some do. Sometimes really subtle items can calm my dysphoria without making a problem for transphobes over my presentation.