When I talk to myself, sometimes I call myself my dead name, or my gender I don’t associate myself with. I am self-aware enough to know I’ve associated myself as male and [name] for thirty-seven years, but it annoys me I haven’t made that connection in my brain somewhere that yes, I’m a girl, my name is Eshe. I feel it in my soul, so why is my brain being such an ass?
This is extra difficult with languages where first person conjugated verbs are gendered. E.g. past tense in Russian.
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