Trying hard to trust the process, and while I have seen other expected changes in skin, hair, and mood, I am getting anxious that nothing is happening under my shirt. I had some minor sensitivity within the first two weeks, but never anything painful.
This Friday will be 6 weeks on HRT. 2mg Est, 4mg Prog, 200mg Spiro daily.
Edit: thanks for talking me off the cliff everyone, I’m much less anxious now 😅
my alternative to taking bica was spiro, and I had read and heard enough to know I wasn’t interested (it’s a pretty mild anti-androgen anyway), so I felt like monotherapy was my only option.
Trans healthcare is not the best :-/
And yeah, that does sound stressful, not knowing your levels and trying to wing it. Even knowing my levels, I had pretty uneven suppression of T with monotherapy, even with very high levels of estrogen (>500 pg/mL trough). Post-orchi I felt much, much better.
Yeah winging it isn’t the best. I seem to be rather lucky actually. 4mg een weekly is more than enough to suppress my T to lower cis fem levels. I’m actually taking 3.8mg right now and still seeing good levels.
My E usually hovers around 200pg/mL and my T hovers around 17ng/dL.
I couldn’t get T levels that low even post-orchi 🫠 …
Though, my blood work showed my T levels were suppressed to cis fem levels the whole time, I swear I still had biochemical dysphoria where my body seemed to produce a little T once a week in the trough, which then would have me feeling off.
It could have been something else, maybe it’s just side effects of really high estrogen, but even when I tried lower doses I would have worse mental health symptoms …
Either way, that stopped post-orchi, I just no longer felt biochemical dysphoria a couple days after trough and it didn’t seem to matter what my estrogen levels were anymore (I mean, the high E levels made me very sensitive and more moody / emotional, so I lowered my dose, first by half and then later by half again).
That said, I was injecting EV, which is so spiky - I suspect my E levels were dropping so suddenly on trough day that my brain triggered the testes to produce T, and it didn’t show up in blood work because I always tested right before injecting again and not the day after injection when it seemed like my T levels had risen.
Either way, it’s not an issue for me anymore, I just think it was cruel and unnecessary to force me to go through that entire year without an orchi, I was very firm about wanting it when I socially transitioned, then I had to wait three months to get HRT, then an entire year after that to get the orchi. They wouldn’t force me to wait that long if I wanted the testes removed as a cis person, like the post-vasectomy pain I experienced. It’s just transphobic, tbh - and it works, I suffered that whole year as a result.
Well, I’m glad you’re feeling alright now at least!
Personally I feel like I would like to have slightly higher T. If it hovered around 30-40 that would be nice. I just want my downstairs stuff working fine with minimal maintenance until I can get surgery and rid myself off it :P
But yeah, I’ve heard plenty of people notice some kind of dysphoria at trough. I remember feeling very clearly off if I was late by an hour or two when I was taking gel. Got worse when I was on higher dosages actually, so I suspect it’s the spikiness that does it.
Mine is usually around 25 now, I don’t really have thoughts about it - I actually wish I had more atrophy than I do, erections are not as firm but otherwise it is about the same as before. I would prefer significant atrophy, tbh.
Though you’re right, that isn’t good for surgery, so that’s a thing.
oh, interesting - that does sound similar to what I experienced … and it has gone away now post-orchi, so … I just assume I was right about it being the T.
It’s so freeing to be able to be late on a dose and not be impacted meaningfully. It was surreal cutting my dose and frequency in half, and watching the window pass for when I would have normally injected again. I had so much suspense built-up around it, and I felt completely fine for the first time. There was no building desperation for my next injection, no onset of crippling depression and worsening mood, as if the world is flat and nothing is enjoyable, no more 24/7 obsessive anxious rumination, and so on.
Now I just feel “normal” - it’s bizarre. Estrogen actually feels sorta optional now, where before I clung to it for my life - I was very sensitive to its absence before, but now I feel fine when my E is lower even if I still enjoy when my levels are higher, too.
I highly recommend for anyone like me to get an orchi ASAP. It’s more affordable, it’s an easier and less painful recovery, it’s a faster surgery, and it means you can get of anti-androgens and feel confident knowing your HRT supply isn’t the only thing preventing you from sliding into hell again.
Yeah :3 I’m not post orchi but een has a decent half life so I can put off my injection by a day and feel fine, but I feel very minorly off after two, but not comparable to when I was on gel. Really did feel kinda desperate back then.
ugh, I wish EEn was available through Rx, it’s so much better than EV - I suspect I wouldn’t have had such severe trough dysphoria that year if I had been on EEn.