Not being normal is still marginalizing, the culture has absolutely not shifted to the place where being neurodivergent is trendy or cool. Just because some minority internet subcultures have flipped the association and they value neurodivergence as trendy, special, cool, etc. doesn’t mean neurodivergent people don’t still struggle to keep jobs and function in daily life in a society that absolutely does not value them and was not built with them in mind.

I understand frustration with people who fake neurodivergence to feel special (there’s a whole subreddit dedicated to that kind of cringe), but that doesn’t mean everyone who takes pride in being neurodivergent or who self-diagnoses using online intake questionnaires are wrong, or are just trying to feel special but are actually just shirking responsibility and being annoying.

Unless you are a clinician trained to diagnose people, gatekeeping whether others are neurodivergent is not your role, no matter how frustrating or how doubtful you might feel about some people. Again, I am sympathetic to your perspective (I can feel all the same ways), but I think there might be some toxicity in how it is getting expressed.