Suppose someone says “I hate having to change my car’s motor oil and I hate the effect oil dependency has on the world”, then I say “you should consider getting an electric car, they’re way cheaper and better than they used to be”.
Am I now on the hook to solve that person’s car troubles forever? Do I have to plan every roadtrip for them so they can hit the necessary charging stations?
Likewise, if that person has a problem or it turns out that an electric car can’t meet their needs and they have to switch back to gas is it my fault? Is it the fault of every electric car owner for talking about them and advocating for them?
I don’t think you should be an asshole to someone asking for help on a forum (though that’s not what the tumble post above is even about? They just seem to be complaining about their technical issue being too hard or the explanations being too verbose?), but I do think that if someone went onto the electric vehicles community and posted “I live in the middle of Alaska and drive 400 miles uphill through the snow at -40 every day! How DARE you think EVs are ready for the mainstream!?!” once a day like people do to Linux coms the EV people would start to get annoyed pretty fast.
Honestly, you shouldn’t just advise someone to get an electric car like that either. They might very well not be able to and know they aren’t able to. They may prefer we just get rid of cars all together in favor of rail travel.
You’re kinda missing the point in the same way that people who suggest Linux do. People expressing frustration often aren’t looking for answers. Unsolicited advice is not wise to give, especially if you don’t articulate how it affects you. If you’re annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you won’t be wrong about your emotions.
See, this is something I think I might be too autistic to understand.
I’m supposed to welcome people to niche communities, which I assume includes helping people with their problems, or else I’m being exclusive and elitist. But also sometimes people post about their problems without actually wanting help, and if you try to help them you’re being annoying. So, don’t help anyone unless they explicitly ask for help, even though in 99% of other situations someone implicitly asking for help means they want your help and its extremely rude to ignore them. I sure hope nobody having their problems ignored takes that as rude or elitist or exclusive.
If you’re annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you won’t be wrong about your emotions.
The emotion I get as an autistic person trying to trying to interpret people saying the opposite of what they mean then being considered an asshole when I’m neurologically incapable of interpreting coded messages is that I want to kill someone and then myself.
I get that. I’ve always found it hard to not just tell people what to do, especially when I known I’m right. What helps me is framing things in terms of my own experiences. I don’t know other people’s circumstances, but I do know my own. Outlining why something works for me helps them understand better than any advice I can give.
IDK, apply that logic to anything else.
Suppose someone says “I hate having to change my car’s motor oil and I hate the effect oil dependency has on the world”, then I say “you should consider getting an electric car, they’re way cheaper and better than they used to be”.
Am I now on the hook to solve that person’s car troubles forever? Do I have to plan every roadtrip for them so they can hit the necessary charging stations?
Likewise, if that person has a problem or it turns out that an electric car can’t meet their needs and they have to switch back to gas is it my fault? Is it the fault of every electric car owner for talking about them and advocating for them?
I don’t think you should be an asshole to someone asking for help on a forum (though that’s not what the tumble post above is even about? They just seem to be complaining about their technical issue being too hard or the explanations being too verbose?), but I do think that if someone went onto the electric vehicles community and posted “I live in the middle of Alaska and drive 400 miles uphill through the snow at -40 every day! How DARE you think EVs are ready for the mainstream!?!” once a day like people do to Linux coms the EV people would start to get annoyed pretty fast.
Honestly, you shouldn’t just advise someone to get an electric car like that either. They might very well not be able to and know they aren’t able to. They may prefer we just get rid of cars all together in favor of rail travel.
You’re kinda missing the point in the same way that people who suggest Linux do. People expressing frustration often aren’t looking for answers. Unsolicited advice is not wise to give, especially if you don’t articulate how it affects you. If you’re annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you won’t be wrong about your emotions.
See, this is something I think I might be too autistic to understand.
I’m supposed to welcome people to niche communities, which I assume includes helping people with their problems, or else I’m being exclusive and elitist. But also sometimes people post about their problems without actually wanting help, and if you try to help them you’re being annoying. So, don’t help anyone unless they explicitly ask for help, even though in 99% of other situations someone implicitly asking for help means they want your help and its extremely rude to ignore them. I sure hope nobody having their problems ignored takes that as rude or elitist or exclusive.
The emotion I get as an autistic person trying to trying to interpret people saying the opposite of what they mean then being considered an asshole when I’m neurologically incapable of interpreting coded messages is that I want to kill someone and then myself.
I get that. I’ve always found it hard to not just tell people what to do, especially when I known I’m right. What helps me is framing things in terms of my own experiences. I don’t know other people’s circumstances, but I do know my own. Outlining why something works for me helps them understand better than any advice I can give.