It would be way better to not have society be going through a moral panic about trans people at the same time I’m coming to terms with my trans-ness. I feel like I’d have to struggle with self-acceptance a lot less if I didn’t know that a large percentage of society hates me without knowing a thing about me. I don’t want to have to change out of my girl clothes or take off my makeup because I need to take my dog for a walk around the apartment complex, and I don’t know how my neighbors would treat a visibly trans person. I don’t want to have to worry about when the incongruity between my appearance and my passport is going to become a problem. (Setting aside that now for all my gender markers across documents to match, I can’t change any of them, and they’ll have to stay wrong). I don’t want to have to worry about losing friends or family or my job because I come out to them. I just want to live life being fully myself - what’s so wrong with that?
Ya stuff really sucks now. States are starting to try and push through even worse laws, and it’s getting pretty discouraging. But keep your chin up and keep reaching out. Start with small changes that might be less perceived. Underclothing is a great start. Painting nails should be ok too in most places I hope.
Now that I’m finally ready to change my name there’s no point because they are holding up all the passport changes. The ACLU filed a lawsuit in February but I haven’t found any updates about that yet. Assuming they even follow a court order to continue processing them…
Just gotta keep on practicing as much self care as possible. Form as many good affirming and positive habits you can. And hopefully things will get better!
Yeah, my state has decent discrimination protections thankfully, but local governments and schools are trying to comply in advance with these bullshit executive orders. It’s just disheartening.
I do paint my nails! It’s one of the most visible affirming things I feel like I can get away with, makes me happy 😊 and I’m planning on getting my earlobes pierced in a few weeks too
When I was first figuring things out I wore a sports bra a lot. They can be completely invisible but still provide a feeling of something there
Sounds like you’re at least in a somewhat good place and working towards progress which is awesome!
I’ve been tremendously happy with the area I live in so far. If I wear a mask, a cute hat, painted nails or not, wearing a purse, and practice my voice, I’ve been able to pass and get gendered correctly. It’s still daunting but my courage is building.
Do everything you can that makes you feel safe and euphoric and keep building yourself up!
I’m glad you found such a great place to live! I left the red state I grew up in a few years ago, and I’m never looking back.
And thank you for the encouragement 😊 I’m still not brave enough to go outside while presenting femme, but I love the little sparks of joy I get from doing affirming things at home!