Fuck, I was kinda doing alright, making friends, getting out, part of a big kink/group sex community, then I met my current GF, I haven’t been to a sex party in months, I feel miserable 50% of the time, honestly most difficult person I’ve ever been with because of the way she sees life and relationships, wondering if I should break up with her.
Only thing is I think I’m fooling myself Re how miserable I was
I think it’s the opposite, she’s a relationship anarchist and I can’t cope with this kind of relationship and how seemingly little importance I have in her life sometimes. I could do poly with a primary partner, but not RA.
Man, people these days will do absolutely anything that can to shrug off any commitment or intimacy with their partner. I wouldn’t even try to date a RA, that sounds miserable, dude.
I mean you can be heavily invested in a relationship as a relationship anarchist.
The anarchy part is that you do not take for granted how a relationship should be structured and that you are open to have very unique and consensually agreed upon aspects in your relationship.
If you want commitment and reliability and loyalty you can for sure ask for it and name it as something that is essential for your relationship and if they do not give it to you it might just be best to split ways.
Of course I understand that there will be people who weaponise relationship anarchy to just do whatever the fuck they want to and rationalise/justify their behaviour but I think the concept isn’t condemnable per sé.
There are also people who weaponise therapy speak to gaslight and I wouldn’t want to generally talk bad about therapy.
Just wanted to give a counterpoint because I think engaging with relationship anarchy and for example looking at a smorgasbord can even help monogamous people to figure out what is important to them and what they want.
Fuck, I was kinda doing alright, making friends, getting out, part of a big kink/group sex community, then I met my current GF, I haven’t been to a sex party in months, I feel miserable 50% of the time, honestly most difficult person I’ve ever been with because of the way she sees life and relationships, wondering if I should break up with her.
Only thing is I think I’m fooling myself Re how miserable I was
My only piece of relationship advice is to avoid online relationship advice. Particularly from a greentext community.
Lol, see, there is good advice on a greentext community.
We can call it the greentext paradox.
Good advice does not come from greentext communities, but that statement is good advice.
I’ll be real you just might not be cut out for monogamy and thats okay. Talk to them about how you are feeling.
I think it’s the opposite, she’s a relationship anarchist and I can’t cope with this kind of relationship and how seemingly little importance I have in her life sometimes. I could do poly with a primary partner, but not RA.
Man, people these days will do absolutely anything that can to shrug off any commitment or intimacy with their partner. I wouldn’t even try to date a RA, that sounds miserable, dude.
I mean you can be heavily invested in a relationship as a relationship anarchist.
The anarchy part is that you do not take for granted how a relationship should be structured and that you are open to have very unique and consensually agreed upon aspects in your relationship.
If you want commitment and reliability and loyalty you can for sure ask for it and name it as something that is essential for your relationship and if they do not give it to you it might just be best to split ways.
Of course I understand that there will be people who weaponise relationship anarchy to just do whatever the fuck they want to and rationalise/justify their behaviour but I think the concept isn’t condemnable per sé. There are also people who weaponise therapy speak to gaslight and I wouldn’t want to generally talk bad about therapy.
Just wanted to give a counterpoint because I think engaging with relationship anarchy and for example looking at a smorgasbord can even help monogamous people to figure out what is important to them and what they want.
Yeah, it’s pretty weird and fucked up IMO.