I know what you mean, and you are correct about those being signs. The main challenge was how my suspected autism got in the way of me recognizing it.

Despite definitely being autistic, the doctors that could’ve diagnosed me as kid, didn’t. My personal theory is that it’s related to the underdiagnosing of cis girls with autism. Although it’s often attributed to girls being socialized differently, I have met a number of transfems who, like cis women, weren’t diagnosed with autism until later in life. It’s like the doctors expect a male gendered type of autism in AMABs, so they underdiagnose us too -_- (again, just a pet hypothesis that I’ll never get to test)

Anyhow, I was always very unhappy about my social existence, feeling out of place as I tried to hang out with boys. Kinda like the stereotype of boys finding girls mysterious, I did not understand dudes at all. However, I also failed to realize the gender differences because I felt pressured to only hang out with boys. I was a goodie-two-shoes who always tried to do what was expected of me without being asked. I needed to play as a boy character because I was a boy, end of conversation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When it comes to signs, I still discover new ones whenever I think about my past. I always did suck at finding the answer when I had no idea what it should look like 😭