sorry to give the wrong impression, I also live in the U.S. south and my dad physically threatened me and my mom when I was 4 years old and was gender exploring by trying on my mom’s heels in her closet … I had to hide most of my cross-dressing from people in my life but especially from my dad, and every exploration was a calculation of risk. The first time I bought skirts as an adult, I felt panicky while checking out, terrified they might think I was buying them for myself. Looking back, that was a silly fear considering nobody would think that.

That said, nobody that did know about my cross-dressing ever thought I might be trans. However, I didn’t want to be read as gay either, just like you, I just knew it was safer to seem gay (and I didn’t seem capable of not being seen as gay, people just assumed it from the way I looked and sounded, even if I did nothing to feminize).

I will say, socially transitioning before medically transitioning taught me that literally 99% of people don’t care at all, you can wear a dress and paint your nails and wear jewelry and still look like a man, and you might get some stares or looks, but that’s about it for the most part, even in the south. I think people just tend to mind their business. There are obvious exceptions to this, and it’s good to avoid aggressive men, but it’s nothing like I thought it was going to be (I guess in my head I figured I would be attacked on day one, and that the reactions would be more violent or angry).

I hope that someday soon you are able to transition. ❤️ Stay strong.