But I’ve seen people’s opinions on trans people change in front of my eyes because they met me and realized I’m a reasonable person who isn’t here to get into a screaming match with them over nothing.

They didn’t change because “you’re reasonable”. They changed, because trans people stopped being a remote, theoretical thing to hate on. Visibility makes us real to people. Knowing a trans person in your day to day life is the best indicator of whether or not someone is supportive of trans rights. When you become a real person to them, instead of a hypothetical, you break through.

That’s not because you were well behaved. It’s because you were visible, and authentic.

That’s how I got used to neopronouns.

If you don’t think that’s happening, I don’t think you’re paying attention. And if you do think we should just soak that and roll with it?

The odd troll or bot getting through is better than defaulting to gatekeeping.

Because, if those bot farms exist like you suggest, their literal goal is to encourage people to misgender and undermine the validity of gender diverse folk. Going ahead and doing what they want is exactly the wrong response to bots and trolls pushing an agenda like that.