Think about how you feel when getting misgendered or when people don’t accept you being trans. Imagine how it feels for someone who doesn’t fit into the gender binary and has neopronouns to be told that their gender expression sets ‘a bad example’ for the rest of the trans community. If you want to ‘represent trans people’, then as a fellow trans person I’ll say you’re doing a bad job.
So what if there are? Lets say there were bot farms out there actively portraying binary trans folk in a way that makes us look like awful trolls that are just making things up. Does that make it ok for folk to start misgendering binary trans folk? Does it make it ok to act as if our pronouns are something that we only receive for good behaviour? Does it stop it from hurting when people actively and deliberately choose to use the wrong pronouns for us?
You know the answer to all of those questions, so you need to ask yourself why you’re ok with it when it happens to gender diverse folk who don’t share your experience/identity. I’m going to guess that the answer is because you think that behaving well, creating less fuss, and being a good little trans person will make the bigots less bigoted towards us. And you think that the neopronoun users are making things worse for us. And that’s just blatantly incorrect. People are transphobic because they’re taught to be transphobic. They find reasons after the fact to validate their bigotry, so that they don’t have to feel like they’re the bad guy in their own story. And because that validation comes after the bigotry, it literally doesn’t matter what we do, the people who have been taught to hate us will find something that validates that hatred. You playing nice doesn’t fix it, all it does is make it worse for folk who don’t fit in to the same box you and I fit in to.
But I’ve seen people’s opinions on trans people change in front of my eyes because they met me and realized I’m a reasonable person who isn’t here to get into a screaming match with them over nothing.
They didn’t change because “you’re reasonable”. They changed, because trans people stopped being a remote, theoretical thing to hate on. Visibility makes us real to people. Knowing a trans person in your day to day life is the best indicator of whether or not someone is supportive of trans rights. When you become a real person to them, instead of a hypothetical, you break through.
That’s not because you were well behaved. It’s because you were visible, and authentic.
That’s how I got used to neopronouns.
If you don’t think that’s happening, I don’t think you’re paying attention. And if you do think we should just soak that and roll with it?
The odd troll or bot getting through is better than defaulting to gatekeeping.
Because, if those bot farms exist like you suggest, their literal goal is to encourage people to misgender and undermine the validity of gender diverse folk. Going ahead and doing what they want is exactly the wrong response to bots and trolls pushing an agenda like that.
You’re portraying people who use neopronouns in a really unfair way that sounds pretty transphobic to me. The user this whole discussion originated from never even demanded that people use drag’s pronouns. Imo drag has other problematic behaviour that has nothing to do with drag’s gender expression or pronouns. Drag was pretty understanding when it came to people not understanding drag’s pronouns.
You sound exactly like a terf who is afraid that trans women will somehow get in the way of the feminist struggle. Social struggles aren’t won by pointing at someone more marginalised than you and ridiculing them, they’re won by being radically inclusive of all marginalised groups and advocating against oppression of all forms.
Have you actually seen the posts from the people this thread is about?
One of them is literally in the habit of sending people death threats and encouraging suicide. There’s a difference between supporting neopronoun use and being completely blind to literal bad faith trolls.
If you can’t tell the difference I don’t know what to tell you.
No one is defending that problematic behaviour. The user should be banned for that (if true) but it has literally nothing to do with them having neopronouns. Read my (and ada’s) comment again and do some introspection before you hurt our community more. Stop being a terf-like transphobe.
Think about how you feel when getting misgendered or when people don’t accept you being trans. Imagine how it feels for someone who doesn’t fit into the gender binary and has neopronouns to be told that their gender expression sets ‘a bad example’ for the rest of the trans community. If you want to ‘represent trans people’, then as a fellow trans person I’ll say you’re doing a bad job.
Do you think this is the one thing that there are no bot-farm trolls injecting disinformation about?
So what if there are? Lets say there were bot farms out there actively portraying binary trans folk in a way that makes us look like awful trolls that are just making things up. Does that make it ok for folk to start misgendering binary trans folk? Does it make it ok to act as if our pronouns are something that we only receive for good behaviour? Does it stop it from hurting when people actively and deliberately choose to use the wrong pronouns for us?
You know the answer to all of those questions, so you need to ask yourself why you’re ok with it when it happens to gender diverse folk who don’t share your experience/identity. I’m going to guess that the answer is because you think that behaving well, creating less fuss, and being a good little trans person will make the bigots less bigoted towards us. And you think that the neopronoun users are making things worse for us. And that’s just blatantly incorrect. People are transphobic because they’re taught to be transphobic. They find reasons after the fact to validate their bigotry, so that they don’t have to feel like they’re the bad guy in their own story. And because that validation comes after the bigotry, it literally doesn’t matter what we do, the people who have been taught to hate us will find something that validates that hatred. You playing nice doesn’t fix it, all it does is make it worse for folk who don’t fit in to the same box you and I fit in to.
Removed by mod
They didn’t change because “you’re reasonable”. They changed, because trans people stopped being a remote, theoretical thing to hate on. Visibility makes us real to people. Knowing a trans person in your day to day life is the best indicator of whether or not someone is supportive of trans rights. When you become a real person to them, instead of a hypothetical, you break through.
That’s not because you were well behaved. It’s because you were visible, and authentic.
That’s how I got used to neopronouns.
The odd troll or bot getting through is better than defaulting to gatekeeping.
Because, if those bot farms exist like you suggest, their literal goal is to encourage people to misgender and undermine the validity of gender diverse folk. Going ahead and doing what they want is exactly the wrong response to bots and trolls pushing an agenda like that.
You’re portraying people who use neopronouns in a really unfair way that sounds pretty transphobic to me. The user this whole discussion originated from never even demanded that people use drag’s pronouns. Imo drag has other problematic behaviour that has nothing to do with drag’s gender expression or pronouns. Drag was pretty understanding when it came to people not understanding drag’s pronouns.
You sound exactly like a terf who is afraid that trans women will somehow get in the way of the feminist struggle. Social struggles aren’t won by pointing at someone more marginalised than you and ridiculing them, they’re won by being radically inclusive of all marginalised groups and advocating against oppression of all forms.
Have you actually seen the posts from the people this thread is about?
One of them is literally in the habit of sending people death threats and encouraging suicide. There’s a difference between supporting neopronoun use and being completely blind to literal bad faith trolls.
If you can’t tell the difference I don’t know what to tell you.
Edit: Some of y’all need to go touch some grass.
No one is defending that problematic behaviour. The user should be banned for that (if true) but it has literally nothing to do with them having neopronouns. Read my (and ada’s) comment again and do some introspection before you hurt our community more. Stop being a terf-like transphobe.