ugh i’m sorry :( i hope there is also a positive predicate for your transition in addition to this negative one, but it’s certainly apparent how the derisive treatment of amab individuals can play into their future expression of gender identity. thanks for sharing <3
Curiously, the masculine values I was taught as a kid and young adult would turn into simply adulting in the 21st century: Taking responsibility for essential business and duties (even if they’re not designated as mine) Paying bills on time (or negotiating to not lose utility service); keeping conflicts civil, not retaliating harmfully over petty grievances. (I am a good ex and take pride in it.)
Values like these were common in the 70s and 80s during the cold war, that use of force was only done after deliberation and all alternatives were exhausted.
Curiously, that these were masculine values implied they weren’t feminine values, that women were implied not to be capable or expected of upholding this code of conduct… except when I was a kid, there were too many examples of women who could and did. And yeah, by the aughts everyone not a politician or an aristocrat was expected to adult and was penalized when they didn’t.
And in the 2020s our masculine role models are Donald Trump, Matt Walsh, Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, etc. who conduct themselves the opposite of these ideals. Also there’s valid concern that Trump might order a nuclear strike if provoked.
Now even as a kid I didn’t feel particularly driven to express my masculinity and was for a while a gender abolitionist, seeing an ideal world where it didn’t matter except to partners and intimates.
But then in the trans community, there are people who really like being a woman / being a man and expressing that identity outwarldly. Gender expression and representation are super important to them the way it’s not at all to me.
So I’m happy to be enby, not only retaining the values I grew up with, but recognizing they suit anyone, not just guys.
This is specifically why I am no longer a man.
ugh i’m sorry :( i hope there is also a positive predicate for your transition in addition to this negative one, but it’s certainly apparent how the derisive treatment of amab individuals can play into their future expression of gender identity. thanks for sharing <3
Curiously, the masculine values I was taught as a kid and young adult would turn into simply adulting in the 21st century: Taking responsibility for essential business and duties (even if they’re not designated as mine) Paying bills on time (or negotiating to not lose utility service); keeping conflicts civil, not retaliating harmfully over petty grievances. (I am a good ex and take pride in it.)
Values like these were common in the 70s and 80s during the cold war, that use of force was only done after deliberation and all alternatives were exhausted.
Curiously, that these were masculine values implied they weren’t feminine values, that women were implied not to be capable or expected of upholding this code of conduct… except when I was a kid, there were too many examples of women who could and did. And yeah, by the aughts everyone not a politician or an aristocrat was expected to adult and was penalized when they didn’t.
And in the 2020s our masculine role models are Donald Trump, Matt Walsh, Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, etc. who conduct themselves the opposite of these ideals. Also there’s valid concern that Trump might order a nuclear strike if provoked.
Now even as a kid I didn’t feel particularly driven to express my masculinity and was for a while a gender abolitionist, seeing an ideal world where it didn’t matter except to partners and intimates.
But then in the trans community, there are people who really like being a woman / being a man and expressing that identity outwarldly. Gender expression and representation are super important to them the way it’s not at all to me.
So I’m happy to be enby, not only retaining the values I grew up with, but recognizing they suit anyone, not just guys.