• pixeltreeEnglish
        27·
        22 hours ago

        Too adhd/social anxiety ridden to go out and meet people, apps are terrible, but it’s for the best, because one of the very few times I actually had contact with someone they gave me herpes, and I’m way too depressed to be around. So, uh, yeah, I need help but it’s not like anyone really can help. It’d be lovely to be intimate with someone again but I’d feel bad for anyone I let close enough for that. Sorry, overly depressing, you just kinda caught me during a crash and I’m desperate to let it out somewhere.

        • brrt@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          8·
          12 hours ago

          I feel you with everything you wrote. My theoretical take on “I’d feel bad for anyone I’d let close…” is that

          1. You might a better person than many, because many people do not think about the impact of their actions on others
          2. Everyone is doing things for themselves. Just be honest with them and yourself and try not to hurt anyone in the process as best as you can.
          3. It’s a very nice rationalization for not having to try at all. It’s easier to just mope by yourself :D

          What to do with all of this? Who knows… The struggle is real.

          • pixeltreeEnglish
            3·
            8 hours ago

            Thank you for your kind reality check. I know it’s not as bad as it feels… The problem is the feeling is part of the barrier.

            • brrt@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
              4·
              5 hours ago

              Yeh, I know. This is as much of a reality check for me as it is for you.

              I need to constantly remind myself that other people struggle too, they might just not show it.

              It’s ok to have those feelings and to have that barrier. But peek over it from time to time, maybe there’s someone there peeking over theirs.